Do you remember during the early days of your partnership how amazing the intimacy was? You could talk about anything, connect on an emotional level, and really vibe together physically.
During the course of a marriage there are other “pieces” of the partnership pie” that also require your time, love, and attention. If you have kids, sometimes intimacy takes a backseat, or you get busy with raising them. You and your boo may both have careers that have you exhausted when you get home, and you also may have some individual hobbies and interests that you pursue and the part of the relationship that is intimacy gets tossed by the wayside from being so ‘busy’ and so ‘tired’. At some point you even notice that you are two ships passing in the night with less conversation that isn’t about who is going to get what from the store, who has to drive who to soccer practice, and where your keys are.
Making time for the “we” part of the relationship is critical. You as partners are the center, the nucleus of everything. The world revolves around the two of you. Just like many of us women go freshen the color of our hair, the “we” part of the relationship has to be freshened up as well.
It all starts with conversation. This conversation is like ‘the state of the union’. It is about taking inventory of each area of the partnership and seeing what needs support, what is on life support, and what needs to be freshened up. This is about being mindful of the sacred space between the two of you and allowing it o deepen and grow. Conversion is a part of what I call “Intellectual Intimacy” and moves into emotional intimacy as feeling enter the conversation. The goal is NOT to accuse the other of slacking, it is to become aware of what is, what has been and look at what you want to create as a couple that feels great for both of you and keeps that love and connection vibrant and alive.
20-30 years down partnership road, you still want to grab your partner’s butt, steal kisses, get hugged from behind, be swept into each other’s arms, find little love notes in secret places, close the bedroom door and get your groove on, as well as laugh, and giggle about the silliest things.
Keep that “hubba hubba” going or those slices of the partnership pie will get stale!
Susan Ortolano – Relationship Coach
Want more? Check out my other love notes, attend a free training for single women, or contact me, Susan Ortolano, today!