Being single can be tough, especially if you’re looking for transformative, soul-centered love. I welcome you to learn to love yourself during this time, and dive deep into learning what you’re really looking for in a partner. The ironic thing is that when you want to be in a relationship, you can end up thinking that being in a bad relationship is better than not being in a relationship at all.
In today’s love note, I’m sharing a few lessons you can learn while you’re single that can help you attract the love of your life. Continue reading to learn more, and if you’re a single woman looking for love, sign up for my free training for single women or contact me for individualized relationship coaching.
This is probably the most important lesson any of us will learn, and it’s easier said than done! But it’s true: the only way you can truly love somebody is if you love yourself first. So many of the single women I work with think that finding true love will be what finally completes them. Or they think, “who can I complete?” The truth is, while there is a soul-mate out there that will love you deeply, even the best relationship can’t fill some empty part of you. True love comes when both people love themselves first, and then bring that love into the relationship.
While you’re single, try loving yourself as you would a future partner. One way to do so is to take yourself out to a nice dinner and movie. It can be hard to ask for a table for one, but don’t worry about it! Enjoy the meal and spending some time with yourself. Do you feel uncomfortable? Try it again, or try something lower-stakes first, like going for just a drink and dessert.
Stop Dreaming of What Could Have Been
When you’re single, it’s easy to look back at your previous relationship and play the “what if” game. You may start seeing only the good memories of past relationships or forget about the day-to-day struggles you had with previous partners. You may even tell yourself “if only I still loved him” or “if only he still loved me I’d be so happy.”
When you start getting caught up in the what-ifs, remind yourself that it’s easier to think of ideal situations (or imagine ideal future relationships) than to live in the present.
Feel Happy For Others In Relationships
It’s ok to feel jealous sometimes, it’s human nature. But when you see your best friend with her husband and baby and feel jealous, ask yourself: what is this feeling really about? What am I missing or what am I seeking? Do I feel insecure about something?
It might be hard, but try to tell them how happy you are for them, and it’s likely that they’ll be happy to hear it. Stop comparing yourself to others, because their relationship it’s about you. Plus, as you start to feel happy for others, you’ll also start to understand what might make you happy too.